A Trail of Worlds

So....for those of you who I haven't seen in a while (which is most of you), let me update you on life real quick.

I am very blessed.

Yep, I think that about covers it. Beautiful friends, wonderful and hilariously entertaining family, and lots of opportunities for growth in so many different ways. It's been the most...uh....interesting few months I've ever had-extremely difficult, extremely different, and exactly what I've needed. I needed to get away from the comfortable bubble I had built in Ark City and into something different...apparently God thought so too ;) Along with all of the new friends, events, clubs and classes going on in good ole Manhattan, I've started doing something else.

 I've started leaving people their own world.

Now yes, it's perfectly alright to wonder at this point if I'm crazy. My answer? ABSOLUTELY. But hey, it makes everything a little more interesting,right?  The whole story about how the idea came about is a pretty long one that honestly makes a lot more sense in my head than anywhere else, but after a few years has now found it's way as a daily part of my life.

I have a few notepads shaped like the globe. They're all different shapes and sizes, all different colors, and,best of all,they are blank on the back. Perfect place to leave a hand-written note or quote....YES! So I leave a trail of worlds behind me on a daily basis. I try my best to leave 3 a day in random places-in a study alcove at the library, at a table in the coffee shop, sitting randomly in some quiet part of the dorms. I try to leave something positive, but not necessarily religious. Whether it's a pick-me-up quote, a part of some good song lyrics, or a homemade coupon for a pre-paid Radina's cup of coffee, I hope that the worlds show whoever receives them half as much as they have shown me in giving them.

My point of this post is not to brag, and it's not to spoil your confusion as to who left you a paper world if you ever find  one on a table in a coffee shop. I promise.  My point is this: It's the little things. It's a crazy world. It teaches us to seek emptiness, to only care about ourselves, and to do anything and everything we can to make sure our own little world is exactly the way we want it to be. Well, friends, I call B-O-L-O-G-N-A. Serve. Serve with everything you are, and give in the little things each day. It doesn't have to be on paper, it doesn't have to be out loud, it doesn't even have to be seen. I leave worlds so that people might think a little bit outside their own. As hard as it may be, serving daily can be summed up in one sentence:

Do something, give everything, and expect nothing in return. 

The Great Balancing Act

We think the opposite of pride is humility; this isn't true. The opposite of pride is despair. Pride is putting ourselves so high that none, even God, can reach us. Despair is burying ourselves so low that none, even God, can save us.

There is a beautiful balancing act between these, a solid soul for pure souls to stand on-the fertile soil of humility.

Humility is realizing that God is greater, and we ourselves will never reach that height. It is at the same time placing ourselves below others in order to serve Christ through them. Humility is burying ourselves deep enough to realize only God can truly reach us. It is burying the part of us full of sin, pride, envy.

Humility is the only firm ground upon which to stand in this great balancing act. Pride tips the scales one way, despair the other.

May you find joy, peace, and contentment in the middle.

Seek Ye First

"But seek first the kingdom [of God] and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides." ~Matt 6:33


Have you ever thought that everyone seeks the kingdom somehow? Even those who have no idea who Christ is search for something more. We all want what this Earth can't give us, we all want what we can't create ourselves. We all want the kingdom of God, and every single one of us tries to find that glory somehow. Some of us search in churches, some of us in service to others, some in the satisfaction of a job well done or a successful career. And still more of us focus on building ourselves up so high that we eventually reach the glory we think we deserve.

We all search for the kingdom somehow, whether we realize it or not. But even those of us who are consciously striving for holiness often forget a part of the passage above. Seek FIRST the kingdom of God. Seek first His glory, His power, His love above all else. Everything else is insignificant, regardless of how much emphasis the world may put on them.

Do not seek their kingdom (the opinion of others), for it only causes hurt, envy, despair, pride.
Do not seek your kingdom (self-satisfaction), because with it comes loneliness, emptiness, longing.
Seek His kingdom, complete with the unfailing love and the true glory that every heart desires.

Flee from the darkness of this world and run towards the light. For once we see that glory, everything else is beautifully illuminated. 

Sufferings of Mary

The last few weeks of my life have been insanely, insanely blessed. It's been easy for me to see God working in and around me, and the result has been a nice dose of joy. Ahh....I'm glad to have that again :) 

This morning, when I should have been studying for my Biology test, I ended up writing instead. I was really excited about my new journal, it's beautiful weather outside, and I just happened to have said journal handy in my backpack. Besides, what I do know about Biology tells me that I won't physically die from lack of test preparation...so we're good, right? As I was journaling (at a table complete with cheesy jazz background music and the glorious smell of coffee, I might add!), I began to think about my crazy weekend. It was a pretty easy-going one for me, but for others I know it was a fight all the way.

As easy as it's been to see Christ where I am lately, I know that his work in the lives of my brothers and sisters hasn't been so obvious. I have a lot of friends and family who seem to be struggling with various battles lately, and it drives me absolutely crazy that I can't do more to help them. It makes my heart ache to hear what they're going through-deaths in friends and family, relationship struggles, school problems, and all sorts of spiritual warfare. I'm continually trying to think of ways to offer up prayer and sacrifice for them, and I'm ready to fight with them. But I still wish I could do more solid, visible things to help them. After thinking about all of this, here's what the Holy Spirit decided to show me:

If our heart aches this much watching those around us suffer, how much more did Mary's heart burn when watching her son carry his cross?

If it hurts us so much to watch the ones we love suffer, I can't even imagine what she felt. Our friends and family, no matter how great they are, are sinners all the same. They struggle, but they also turn themselves away from God sometimes. Christ was spotless. He never turned away from his father, never struggled with disobedience, never once complained about carrying all of our sins on Calvary. He was (is) without blemish, without hatred, love without reservation. Can you imagine meeting your sinless son on his way to be crucified, silently watching that undeserved suffering? There's no way to comprehend it.

Well, friends, I'm going to let you in on a little secret: I'm pretty sure the reason I'm still sane (which I realize is a debatable point) is because of Mary's intercession over the last couple of years. Whether it was despair, anger, doubt, confusion, or just about anything else I couldn't handle on my own, her intercession played a major role in getting me out of it and seeing Christ amidst it all. She knows what it's like to watch those around us suffer-in fact, she knows  better than any of us ever will. 

Ask the Blessed Mother to pray for you and those you love. It must bring her great joy to help her sons and daughters from her seat in Heaven. She's ready and waiting to help....all you have to do is ask.

Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us!

Fall Into Christ

It's FALL!!!!

In case you can't tell....that single statement makes me extremely extremely EXTREMELY happy. Ahhh....love it :) Along with the leaves falling, the temperature falling, and the length of days falling, I've been thinking an awful lot about falling in a different way.

You know trust falls-those wonderfully annoying exercises that seem to be in every type of team "bonding," so that you can trust each other when things get tough? I reaaaaally don't like them, regardless of who is standing behind me ready to catch me. I never have, and I probably never will. But you know what? Life's a trust fall.

I've often heard spiritual life (and life in general) compared to climbing up a mountain or something of the sort. While that can be true, I see it a little differently. Life doesn't have to be an uphill climb-it can also be a downhill fall.....a terrifying, stomach whirling, beautifully glorious fall. A falling into the arms of a God who will ALWAYS be there to catch us. Whether we trip over a stumbling block and crash down to the ground or just close our eyes and brave the 8 inch drop, falling can be scary when we can't see where we're going. Fall anyway and trust that he will be there to catch you, bringing you closer to his heart that's on fire for you.

Close your eyes, and imagine something you need to fall away from. Fall away from temptation, fall away from fear, fall away from the noise of this world. Fall into the arms of Christ, and fall ever closer to his unfailing love.

As the leaves begin to change this autumn, may God's grace change your hearts and give you the grace to brave the fall.

What Love Looks Like

What does love look like? 

It has the hands to help others. 

It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy.

 It has eyes to see misery and want.

 It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men.

 That is what love looks like.

 -St. Augustine

I don't know about you, but I get really tired of hearing the word "love" tossed around like it's nothing-because in all honesty, love is everything. I've been blessed to spend an insanely awesome amount of time in adoration since I've moved to Manhattan, and it seems that love is all I think about when I enter that chapel.-love in friendships, love in vocations, love in the monstrance staring back at me. 

Love isn't a feeling, it isn't a walk along a beach in the moonlight, and it isn't a magic formula for happiness when sandwiched between the words "I" and "you." It's a choice. That means choosing to give when it's hardest, choosing to put the other first, and choosing to act in a way that upholds the dignity of the other. Phew....love is hard. 

There's a lot that God's been throwing at me about love lately, and it's going to take some more time with him to figure out exactly what he's getting at....so until then, a picture is worth a thousand words.  

 This isn't what love looks like:

This isn't what love looks like:

This isn't even what love looks like:

This is what LOVE looks like:

  

Where No One Is Looking

I had a 7:30 a.m. Principles of Biology Studio class this morning......and it was AWESOME.

Yes, I am crazy-but we established that a long time ago, right? I could go on for hours about how blessed I am to be in Manhattan, because I definitely am. But really, it doesn't matter where I am; where I am is where God wants me, so I'm blessed regardless. The class? Well, my 3 partners and I succeeded in completing the exact opposite of what our yeast lab intended....so this year should be an adventure!

The reason this morning was so great was because it was a new day.  It's as simple as that.

I had forgotten how much I LOVE mornings. Wonderful weather, beautiful sunrises to satisfy my slightly huge obsession with the sky, stillness, and silence. At 6:30 a.m., most people haven't totally given in to the rush of the day and the stress of their schedules. We're just getting started, refreshed and ready to face whatever comes. Before today, I don't remember the last time I got up before 9....weird, considering my last semester of high school I arrived at school after 6:30 a grand total of 3 times. It was wonderful to be reminded that life can still be slow, that we can look forward to what's ahead in our days, to have the simple beauty of God's creation put me in awe once again, and to find  hope in the most unexpected of places. Mornings may not be one of your favorite things, but they are definitely one of mine.

May you continue to find beauty in the places where no one seems to be looking.