Infinite Worth

As humans, we fail, we fall, we lose hope. We face trials together, and we stand alone through battles that others cannot understand. Often times we are weak, dependent, and unable. But you know what else? We have WORTH. Due to the simple fact that we are children of The King, we have an infinite beauty and goodness that nothing (not even this world) can take away from us.

We are not worthy, but we are by no means worthless.

I will leave you with this song by Matthew West. Listen. Jam. Recognize your worth. Repeat.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8yxnP2ZUXw

Living For The Weekends

When I was recently thinking about what the next few weeks of my life are going to look like, I realized something I  never had before. I'm living for the weekends. And I'm not living for them in the sense that I just don't like schoolwork and I want to go out and have fun for a few days...although that is a bonus. I realized something a little more important than that. 

My faith has been living for the weekends. 

Physically I've been going to daily mass, spending time in prayer, and being around people/going to events that can help shape my faith. I am there, baby! Physically present as ever. But spiritually? You couldn't find me with the best tracking equipment on the planet. I have been absent...completely, totally, awfully absent for the majority of the past few weeks. Occasionally I take time to really pray, really reflect, really care about others. But for the most part I keep my faith buried under walls of solid steel while making sure that I act out the motions flawlessly. But really...what good does that do anyone? Goodness knows it doesn't glorify God, and my selfish attitude sure as heck isn't bringing anyone else along for the ride. 

There is no right time to follow Christ. We either commit or we don't; we go all in or we don't bother going at all. Allow yourself to be present with others, present with yourself, present with Christ.

There is no room for a "weekend only" Christian.

Ker-Plunk

Oh come on, you know what I'm talking about-that sinking feeling we all get in our chests when we just know something isn't right. Like....when that babysitter is about to open the closet door because she thinks she heard a scream on the other side, or( more up my alley) when the speck that holds Whoville gets dropped into a sea of identical ones in Horton Hears a Who. NOOOOOOOOOO! 

Ker-Plunk goes the heart.

We may be small, but we aren't stupid. We know when things aren't right, and often times it's our hearts that tell us-they feel heavy and unsettled by the way things are going. When that ker-plunk of our hearts seem to be echoing in our ears, when it is so easy to dwell on the unsettled feeling inside, when we just want to "fix" everything, there is only one thing to change-and that is the state of our hearts.

Don't dwell on the past or worry about the future. Stop thinking about how you have fallen, or how hard it will be to resist temptation from now on...live in the present. Do what you can to discern and obediently follow God's Will today, and allow tomorrow to take you on a joy ride. You can't fix what may be wrong, but He can; give it up and free your heart. Laugh, sing, dance, allow yourself to be full of joy! It's not in worrying or preparing that we glorify God...it's in living!

Lightheartedness is key. This world is dark and heavy, but the love of God is beautifully light. Let that love fill your heart, lifting you up. Let nothing disturb you to the point of that ker-plunk; allow Christ to relieve that sinking feeling and take you into His arms.

With heavy hearts, how can we expect to soar to Heaven?

A Trail of Worlds

So....for those of you who I haven't seen in a while (which is most of you), let me update you on life real quick.

I am very blessed.

Yep, I think that about covers it. Beautiful friends, wonderful and hilariously entertaining family, and lots of opportunities for growth in so many different ways. It's been the most...uh....interesting few months I've ever had-extremely difficult, extremely different, and exactly what I've needed. I needed to get away from the comfortable bubble I had built in Ark City and into something different...apparently God thought so too ;) Along with all of the new friends, events, clubs and classes going on in good ole Manhattan, I've started doing something else.

 I've started leaving people their own world.

Now yes, it's perfectly alright to wonder at this point if I'm crazy. My answer? ABSOLUTELY. But hey, it makes everything a little more interesting,right?  The whole story about how the idea came about is a pretty long one that honestly makes a lot more sense in my head than anywhere else, but after a few years has now found it's way as a daily part of my life.

I have a few notepads shaped like the globe. They're all different shapes and sizes, all different colors, and,best of all,they are blank on the back. Perfect place to leave a hand-written note or quote....YES! So I leave a trail of worlds behind me on a daily basis. I try my best to leave 3 a day in random places-in a study alcove at the library, at a table in the coffee shop, sitting randomly in some quiet part of the dorms. I try to leave something positive, but not necessarily religious. Whether it's a pick-me-up quote, a part of some good song lyrics, or a homemade coupon for a pre-paid Radina's cup of coffee, I hope that the worlds show whoever receives them half as much as they have shown me in giving them.

My point of this post is not to brag, and it's not to spoil your confusion as to who left you a paper world if you ever find  one on a table in a coffee shop. I promise.  My point is this: It's the little things. It's a crazy world. It teaches us to seek emptiness, to only care about ourselves, and to do anything and everything we can to make sure our own little world is exactly the way we want it to be. Well, friends, I call B-O-L-O-G-N-A. Serve. Serve with everything you are, and give in the little things each day. It doesn't have to be on paper, it doesn't have to be out loud, it doesn't even have to be seen. I leave worlds so that people might think a little bit outside their own. As hard as it may be, serving daily can be summed up in one sentence:

Do something, give everything, and expect nothing in return. 

The Great Balancing Act

We think the opposite of pride is humility; this isn't true. The opposite of pride is despair. Pride is putting ourselves so high that none, even God, can reach us. Despair is burying ourselves so low that none, even God, can save us.

There is a beautiful balancing act between these, a solid soul for pure souls to stand on-the fertile soil of humility.

Humility is realizing that God is greater, and we ourselves will never reach that height. It is at the same time placing ourselves below others in order to serve Christ through them. Humility is burying ourselves deep enough to realize only God can truly reach us. It is burying the part of us full of sin, pride, envy.

Humility is the only firm ground upon which to stand in this great balancing act. Pride tips the scales one way, despair the other.

May you find joy, peace, and contentment in the middle.

Seek Ye First

"But seek first the kingdom [of God] and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides." ~Matt 6:33


Have you ever thought that everyone seeks the kingdom somehow? Even those who have no idea who Christ is search for something more. We all want what this Earth can't give us, we all want what we can't create ourselves. We all want the kingdom of God, and every single one of us tries to find that glory somehow. Some of us search in churches, some of us in service to others, some in the satisfaction of a job well done or a successful career. And still more of us focus on building ourselves up so high that we eventually reach the glory we think we deserve.

We all search for the kingdom somehow, whether we realize it or not. But even those of us who are consciously striving for holiness often forget a part of the passage above. Seek FIRST the kingdom of God. Seek first His glory, His power, His love above all else. Everything else is insignificant, regardless of how much emphasis the world may put on them.

Do not seek their kingdom (the opinion of others), for it only causes hurt, envy, despair, pride.
Do not seek your kingdom (self-satisfaction), because with it comes loneliness, emptiness, longing.
Seek His kingdom, complete with the unfailing love and the true glory that every heart desires.

Flee from the darkness of this world and run towards the light. For once we see that glory, everything else is beautifully illuminated. 

Sufferings of Mary

The last few weeks of my life have been insanely, insanely blessed. It's been easy for me to see God working in and around me, and the result has been a nice dose of joy. Ahh....I'm glad to have that again :) 

This morning, when I should have been studying for my Biology test, I ended up writing instead. I was really excited about my new journal, it's beautiful weather outside, and I just happened to have said journal handy in my backpack. Besides, what I do know about Biology tells me that I won't physically die from lack of test preparation...so we're good, right? As I was journaling (at a table complete with cheesy jazz background music and the glorious smell of coffee, I might add!), I began to think about my crazy weekend. It was a pretty easy-going one for me, but for others I know it was a fight all the way.

As easy as it's been to see Christ where I am lately, I know that his work in the lives of my brothers and sisters hasn't been so obvious. I have a lot of friends and family who seem to be struggling with various battles lately, and it drives me absolutely crazy that I can't do more to help them. It makes my heart ache to hear what they're going through-deaths in friends and family, relationship struggles, school problems, and all sorts of spiritual warfare. I'm continually trying to think of ways to offer up prayer and sacrifice for them, and I'm ready to fight with them. But I still wish I could do more solid, visible things to help them. After thinking about all of this, here's what the Holy Spirit decided to show me:

If our heart aches this much watching those around us suffer, how much more did Mary's heart burn when watching her son carry his cross?

If it hurts us so much to watch the ones we love suffer, I can't even imagine what she felt. Our friends and family, no matter how great they are, are sinners all the same. They struggle, but they also turn themselves away from God sometimes. Christ was spotless. He never turned away from his father, never struggled with disobedience, never once complained about carrying all of our sins on Calvary. He was (is) without blemish, without hatred, love without reservation. Can you imagine meeting your sinless son on his way to be crucified, silently watching that undeserved suffering? There's no way to comprehend it.

Well, friends, I'm going to let you in on a little secret: I'm pretty sure the reason I'm still sane (which I realize is a debatable point) is because of Mary's intercession over the last couple of years. Whether it was despair, anger, doubt, confusion, or just about anything else I couldn't handle on my own, her intercession played a major role in getting me out of it and seeing Christ amidst it all. She knows what it's like to watch those around us suffer-in fact, she knows  better than any of us ever will. 

Ask the Blessed Mother to pray for you and those you love. It must bring her great joy to help her sons and daughters from her seat in Heaven. She's ready and waiting to help....all you have to do is ask.

Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us!