Holy Thursday

Holy Thursday. If you're like me, it's just another looooong mass-actually, almost twice as long, because bilingual masses are held as one. It may seem unnecessary, or boring. Does it seem like it' s repeating everything you already know? Well....yep, that about sums up how I generally felt about all Easter weekend masses-long, boring, and pointless. But this year, I've grown an unbelievable amount in my faith-and last night, it hit me that I don't know everything about this faith, nor will I ever know. And that is why it's so beautiful. Especially what happened Holy Thursday.

The Eucharist. That's what I want to write about. I've always known it's His body and blood, and that He gave it up for us. I guess I just never really knew what all that entailed. The night before He died, he washed the apostles' feet. The creator of the universe washed the feet of the ones He had created in His image! He invoked the priesthood-something that, to me, is one of the more awesome parts of this faith, and something that should be thought about more and honored by everyone. He washed their feet so that when they carried on His works, they would do it as clean men. Then, He did something none of us can understand completely-nor should we try. While He was still alive, He gave up Himself back to us in the form of His own body and blood. Yes, we know He died a very painful death and suffered greatly on the cross to pay for our sins. But that's preached everywhere-even non-christians know that. What makes this night my new favorite is that He gave HIMSELF. Literally-not giving of Himself in prayer, service, or miracles,but really giving His body back to us each time a priest (with newly cleaned feet) consecrated a measly piece of bread and a cup of wine. He allows Himself to be received by all, and brought into this life again on a daily basis. He suffered through terrifying thoughts of what would happen tommorrow, to prepare a better life for us today. Imagine you've gotten sick, and the doctor says you won't make it past tommorrow night. What would you do? Go home, visit with your family and friends, reflect on the good things in your life, and try to end it peacefully? Because that's what a lot of us would do. But He knew what was going to happen to Him-He even knew that some of those "priests" He had put into place would soon deny Him. Yet He continued to give of Himself-and more importantly, to give of His father-until His very last breath. The one thing that stuck in my mind solid from all of the Holy Thursday readings was this, and I want you to think about it honestly. Consider it, reflect on it, and, next time you chat with Him, say thank you. Because this is what He's asking us daily:

"Do you realize what I've done for you?" John 13:12

Let's show Him we know what He's done for us but he way we live our lives.

When God's Not Looking

This morning, I had a chat with a really great friend of mine. He's been going through a lot with himself, his friends, and his girlfriend lately. He's in the process of transferring schools, and he's getting a little stressed out. But most importantly...he's trying to figure out what God's plan for him is. After talking for a few minutes about the obvious problems, I asked him if there was anything else on his mind. He said, "I just need to forgive myself." Me, a little slow to catch on sometimes, had to take a second to process this. We'd just discussed all of the problems going on in his life, and I thought we'd established that it was NOT anything that he could really control. So what did he need to forgive himself for? After a silent second or two of processing this information, my brain clicked. He had to forgive himself for the way he'd been reacting to all of these things. Not what happened, but what he did because of it, and what had happened with him while it was going on. He had to forgive himself for what had happened behind closed doors when no one was there. For what he did when no one was watching. I just gave him my best understanding smile, and the longest, heartiest hug I could muster up. Here is what he told me "She's forgiven me, God's forgiven me. I can do this."


To me, that's the attitude we should all have. That no matter what kind of curveball gets thrown our way, it IS going to be ok. It may not be the way we want it to turn out-in fact, it probably won't be. But it will be the way it's supposed to if we just put our trust where it belongs, and try to be the best we can be every single day. I know it's not easy, but be who you want to be even when no one's looking. Because there really is someone who loves you very much looking down on you from above all the time. And your actions when you're alone determine whether that relationship-the most important one in your life-is built up to be stronger, or weakened to nothing.