Tunnel Vision

Alright.....time to buckle down and get to this blog! My brain has been going all week and I wanted to share, but haven't even taken the time to breathe like I should, much less write. Whew! Okay. Hello :) I hope your life has been rockin' awesome! Bear with me for a moment while I reach a new level of nerdiness; I'm going to compare faith to marching band. Yes,that just happened. Call me a nerd, but you and I both know that nerds rule the world.

Whether you've ever been a member, stood along the street and watched, or just seen one on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, we all know what a marching band looks like. What most people don't realize is how hard it is to make that block of people look like something other than a blob, or sound better than an annoying preschooler with their recorder. Accomplishing this requires something that my band director has constantly pointed out over the past 7 years It requires tunnel vision. You must carry your instrument exactly the same way as your neighbor, playing exactly the same volume when your horn comes up. You must stand and mark time behind the fire truck (who is trying to crowd please and dodge small children at the same time), making sure that you are putting your heel down at exactly the same time as the other 75 people around you. You must do all of this while remaining perfectly in line both front-to-back and side-to-side. Finally, you need to ignore the grandma who runs in the middle of the band to kiss her grandson, and the cute little five year old running beside you-at least until the 3 mile parade route is over. You must be focused only on the task at hand, ignoring everything else in this world. Sounds kind of nuts, eh? Kind of like life tends to be.

Being a successful Christian requires the ultimate tunnel vision.

If we are going to live this life for something bigger than ourselves, and if we are going to get somewhere better than here, we have to focus. Christ is the light at the end of the tunnel, the only way we should ever be traveling. We are surrounded by great examples of faith in the saints and angels, who are willing to walk with us. The rest of the tunnel is obviously dark, so why on earth would we wander off on our own? Those distractions that pop up in every day life (you know, the ones that take our eyes off the prize), well, they aren't worth it. What we gain in running away from Love is emptiness. What we gain in running away from

light is darkness. It's not worth it. Zone out the thoughts that tell you that you aren't good enough. Don't listen to the people who bring you down. Don't over-complicate your tunnel (much easier said than done, I know). Christ loves you. If you love him, run to him.

May you blur out the edges of your tunnel, focusing only on Love in everything you do.

He Knows What You Need

I interrupt all banquet script editing, homework, and (or whatever you may be doing) for a very important message:

God knows what you need. So let him give it to you.

I desperately need a couple of days to bring me back to a more positive outlook. What did I get when I stopped trying to interrupt His plan?

• A morning of going to school at normal people time....so not until right before class started.


• An excuse to wear a skirt to school today-Yay Soroptomist luncheons! Even if you are slightly awkward....


• Time (that's right-time!) to spend with my little sister, including taking her to school and going on an ice cream date. I really, really, REALLY enjoy spending time with her beautiful soul. She's in public school this year, and she asks me to go to mass with her on the weekends; it makes me happy she has someone in our family to depend on faith-wise. Thank God for His work. She's also in 6th grade, which for those of you who don't know, is the perfect time to convince her that boys still do (and always will) have cooties ;)


• The chance to see some awesome faith in action from those around me.

So, I basically got a great two days! God's kind of funny, eh?

He knows what you need. Let him give it to you.

Palms or Nails?

Phew....what a week! I never slept past 4:30 a.m., and I most likely won't in the coming one, either. I've been trying to convince my parents that I can deal with my headaches, and the small inconvenience isn't keeping me from being a normal high schooler; I tried to convince them that I'm not crazy....but we all know that battle was lost a long time ago ;) I've gotten the chance to travel to a few FFA events around the state, spend time with some of my favorite people, and help some to step outside of their comfort zone. I've also spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to teach myself calculus and chemistry, as it seems I'm NEVER in school. It's been an insane, tiring, and absolutely blessed week.

I love Sundays for about a jillion different reasons, including that I usually have time to breathe, make some kind of music, and actually think. This morning was awesome- I just LOVE Palm Sunday mass! All week I've been working on living every moment with purpose. Since organized prayer and silence lasting more than a few moments simply hasn't been an option, I may as well focus on what I should be doing anyway. I've always been a major believer in the power of small, silent actions, and this week has only reinforced that.

Today at mass, the homily hit on the power of our sins-all of them. While Father was talking about how the daily choices we make can glorify Christ or turn us away from Him, something clicked in my brain (maybe the Holy Spirit clicks? Hmm...), and I thought of something:

The man who died for us is with us, every moment of every day.
Do you greet him with the palms that help pave his way, or the nails that crucify him?

Do you choose to pray while driving instead of listening to your radio for a few minutes? Palm. Do you honk and cuss at the driver in front of you for going the speed limit in a school zone? Nail. Do you offer kind words to that one person in your life who really drives you crazy? Palm. What about when you roll your eyes when they give you a dirty look for what you just said? Nail.

If you're like me, your day may end up like this: Palm. Nail. Nail. Nail. Palm. Nail. Palm. Nail. Palm......well, you get the picture. Don't get discouraged; we weren't made to be perfect. We were however, made to try.

Will you glorify Christ as king, or nail him to the cross once again? The choice is yours each moment.

Missing the Point

I miss a lot of things-things that have disappeared from my life lately and things that were never really there at all.

I miss people asking how I really am.
I miss good hugs.
I miss friends who care about more than the things of this world.
I miss good conversations.
I miss being motivated.
I miss having time to breathe.
I miss playing piano keys to make music instead of laptop keys to make papers.
I miss feeling like I am actually making a difference.
I miss living without a mask.

I'm missing the point.

We have a purpose.
We have a calling.
We have a duty.

Whatever feelings of anger,bitterness, loneliness and hopelessness may get in the way, we must remember that, and place our ultimate mission above all else.

Grace to you, and peace in the quite contentment of our Lord.

Being Human is Tiring!

Sometimes, we get tired...

Tired of fighting for no apparent reason...

Tired of reaching out towards others, but feeling alone anyway...

Tired of believing lies...

Tired.

So was He.

Christ carried his cross on Calvary for us. He carried 120 lbs of sin and tree....not exactly a walk in the park to begin with. He proceeded to climb uphill, after being beaten close to death by those people whose sins he was carrying. He was crowned with thorns, stripped of all clothes, and put to death in place of a man who was actually guilty. He was mocked and SPIT ON the whole way (not to mention the days before). When he got to the end of the road, what did he do? Did he respond to the chance to prove himself as God? No. Did he yell back? No. He allowed those men to drive nails into his naked flesh-in front of his own mother-for something greater. He FORGAVE them before he took his final breath. It's not about me. It's not about you. It's about that.

May you have a fruitful Lent, filled with meaningful sufferings. May you never tire in imitating the unfailing Love of Christ.

Whatever You Do

God is good.....so, so, so good. Just thought I'd drop in and remind you ;)

I LOVE days like today: those days where you know the battle has already been won the moment you wake up. Those days when your eyes are open to Love, and the whole world seems to be singing a song just for you.

My morning has been blessedly mellow and insanely productive. Yes, at the same time! I slept in until 9, then broke out my backpack and caught up on some calculus. I have the house to myself for the day, which means I was listening to some Frank Sinatra/Ella Fitzgerald while finding the antiderivatives of functions.....which also made cleaning my room much more enjoyable, in case you were wondering. I have a list of other things to do today, but none of them at a certain time-which NEVER happens. So I went out on the porch, found a warm spot and prayed a rosary before continuing my streak of productivity. Yay :) My afternoon list consists of finishing at least 3 scholarship apps, 2 more calc assignments, a chemistry II chapter and questions, and writings some thank you's and letters. The next few hours also consists of me doing perhaps the most dangerous thing on the planet:

I'm going to.....clean. my. car. If you could see my car right now, you would run scared to. I've decided if at any point in time I'm going to conquer this monster, it may as well be today, when I can listen to some good music while doing it. Before I even begin I know there will be at least 5 lawn chairs, a sleeping bag, basketballs, volleyballs, flyers from our 5K in November, and a sack of 100 or so paper mache eggs and all supplies needed to paint/decorate them with little 4-H kids. Oh boy, this should be an adventure, to say the least!

You know, that's a good way to look at everything, actually. Don't dread doing the little things in your daily life-do them for someone greater. Because that someone who is Christ has written for you the adventure of a lifetime....and you're living it right now.

" Whatever you do, do from the heart, as if for the Lord and not for others..." Coll 3:23

Time for Another Quote!

"Be an instrument of gold or of steel, of platinum or of iron-big or small, delicate or rough.

They're all useful.

Each serves its own purpose.

Who whould dare say that the carpenter's saw is any less useful than the surgeon's scalpel?

Your duty is to be an instrument."

-St. Josemaria Escriva